As a family law professional it is essential to consider a number of factors in relocation cases. These factors are: the Best Interests of the Child, the Existing Time-Sharing Plan and the impact of the proposed relocation on the Time Sharing agreement, the reason for relocation as well as the distance of the relocation. The best interests standard is the court’s primary consideration. The impact on the child’s education, social life, and relationship with the non-relocating parent are several of these factors. The child’s relationship with the non-relocating parent is crucial to address including how that relationship will be maintained despite the distance, such as through extended visitation during school breaks, holidays, or summers, and the use of technology for regular communication. The co-parenting relationship is crucial and the court will want assess the parent’s ability to maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship despite the proposed relocation. If the relocation is granted, the existing parent plan may need to be modified. It is helpful if attorney for the relocating parent to take into account: how to prepare for the move, including making necessary arrangements for school enrollment, healthcare, and support systems in the new location. It is also important to address the challenges if relocation is granted including: changes in timesharing, adjustment issues for the child and the relocating parent, and the need for professional intervention in case of emotional or psychological difficulties.
Additionally there are specific legal requirements in Florida for parental relocation cases, which include providing formal notice to the other parent and obtaining court approval for the relocation. The notice must comply with statutory requirements and include specific information, such as the new address, phone number, and proposed relocation date. Failure to provide proper notice may have legal consequences. It is important to ensure that all legal requirements are met and followed meticulously to avoid any negative repercussions in court. In relocation cases, the parent seeking to relocate has the burden of proving that the proposed relocation is in the best interests of the child. This means that the parent must present evidence and persuade the court that the relocation is in the child’s best interests based on the relevant factors under Florida law.
It is also important to consider the age of the child. In Florida, if the child is 16 years old or older, their preference regarding the proposed relocation may be given more weight by the court. The court may take into consideration the child’s wishes and preferences, although it is not the sole determining factor. The court will still consider the best interests of the child as the paramount consideration however, the child’s age and maturity level may affect how much weight the court gives to their preferences. If the child is 16 or older and expresses a strong preference to either support or oppose the proposed relocation, the court may take their preference into account when evaluating the overall best interests of the child.
There is a role for other professionals in relocation cases. Collaboration with other professionals, such as counselors, psychologists, and financial experts, may help provide comprehensive support to the parents and address various aspects of the relocation case effectively. Working as a team can provide valuable insights and support for the parents and help them make informed decisions.
Relocation cases can be emotionally charged, and parents may have differing opinions and strong emotions about the proposed relocation. Professionals working with these families can help with using of conflict resolution and mediation skills. Therapists can provide emotional support to family members by creating a safe and non-judgmental space for them to express their feelings, fears, and concerns related to the relocation. Therapists can help family members process their emotions, manage stress, and develop coping strategies to navigate the changes associated with the proposed relocation. Therapists can also provide co-parenting counseling to help parents improve their communication and problem solving skills. Therapists can provide therapy specifically for children to help them cope with the changes associated with the proposed relocation.
“I am honored and humbled to receive this year’s Visionary Award from the Family Law Section of The Florida Bar during the Marital and Family Law Review Course in Orlando. A heartfelt thank you to Magistrate Philip Wartenberg, current Chair of the Family Law Section for this recognition. The surprise was genuine and I was extremely grateful that much effort (behind the scenes) took place to arrange for my husband, daughter and son to be present as I received this Award. My family has always been so supportive of my volunteer work and it was wonderful for them to share this special moment together with me.”
“Resist and Refuse Dynamics” (RRD) is a term used to describe a pattern of behavior that can occur in high-conflict family situations where a child or children actively resist or refuse contact with the other parent, despite court orders or agreements. These family dynamics arise from multiple factors including factors within each parent, factors in the coparenting relationship, particular vulnerability of the children. This pattern can be particularly frustrating and distressing for the parent who is being resisted. However the more favored parent as well as the child or children involved have their own set of stressors.
Resistance or refusal to see a parent may be appropriate when there has been abuse or IPV. While some children continue to want to spend time with an abusive parent, the safety of the child is paramount to consider. Children who reject a parent due to witnessing domestic violence or having been abused or witness to either, express justified concerns. It is essential for family law professionals involved in these cases to address safety issues. In cases with documented safety concerns it may not be appropriate for a children to spend unsupervised time with the parent in question. It is essential to balance the child’s safety with their need for a relationship with both parents. Cases with safety concerns and where the child is resisting contact fall into a different category than RRD and will not be discussed in this paper.
Why is it important to understand cases of Resist and Refuse Dynamics in a family? Family law professionals, whether judges, attorneys, mediators, parenting coordinators or mental health professionals are likely to encounter these complex and frustrating cases. Family law professionals need a common vocabulary as well as a common approach to these cases in order to be of service to these families. It is essential for any family law professional in RRD cases to have knowledge of family systems theory and practice as well as to understand how holding multiple hypotheses when sitting with members of the family can help keep natural biases and alliances in check. It is also essential to understand the levels of severity in these cases in order to tailor interventions to meet family goals. Children having to make a choice between two “good-enough” parents (with whom they have had a positive relationship) may suffer long term consequences of the loss of one parent.
What are some of the causal factors in RRD? We have ruled out safety concerns and are dealing with two good enough parents who have expressed that the children need a “safe and healthy” relationship with both parents. We also know over time a child can and will feel closer to one parent than the other. This is normal. It is only when a child feels or is forced to choose one parent over the other that the problems ensue.
A history of conflict between parents where one parent may talk negatively about the other parent in front of the child or overtly interfere with the parent’s time with the child is certainly one causal factor. Children may blame one parent for the conflict; previous positive memories and relationships can become viewed as all bad. Parenting difficulties such as harsh discipline, substance misuse, or mental health problems can lead a child to choose one parent over the other. Children who are prone to anxiety or depression may be more likely to be caught up in a loyalty bind. It is essential to consider the co-parenting relationship, any parenting concerns, the vulnerability of the child, and any critical incidents that have become part of a child’s and parent’s negative narrative about the other parent. [See Power Point for more in depth analysis of RRD].
Other causal factors can be found in external systems. Extended family in these cases can become involved and polarizing. Litigation, splintered professionals and social media too can play a role. As professionals working with these families we need to understand the multiple factors in order to find the best solutions.
In working with these families, it is essential to hear and respect child preferences and desires [a voice but not necessarily the final choice] while ensuring that a child is not being unduly influenced by the more favored parent. Children caught in loyalty binds or have chosen one parent over the other can feel an enhanced sense of confusion, guilt, anxiety or depression. Children’s choice of one parent over another may lead to a sense of well-being (“I am not caught any longer”) but may also lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness (“I miss my mom/dad but can’t say or feel that).
What are some paths to resolution in these matters? For the court, accountability is key. After careful and thorough assessment of any safety issues, therapeutic intervention with court accountability is essential. These families need a clear order from the court as to how to proceed with a family therapy intervention. For attorneys, holding multiple hypotheses about a client while supporting their own unique struggles is very helpful. While it is tempting to side with the clients point of view only, the Bounds of Advocacy are in effect to factor in the best interests of the children. For mental health professionals a family therapy intervention involving the whole family, assessing for parenting, co-parenting, child vulnerabilities, and the negative narratives that have taken hold (and may not be accurate) is essential.
So what has to occur if family therapy is to have the potential for success? Intimate Partner Violence must have been screened out. A coercive controlling parenting style must be addressed. All parenting styles, boundaries, discipline, affect, steadiness, and mental health must be taken into account. Clear parenting difficulties may warrant referral to a parenting therapist or parenting coach. A parenting therapist can help each parent navigate their own emotional response leading to better and more effective communication. The history of co-parenting cooperation or conflict must be understood. If a family therapist can help the parents address issues and work toward a mutual resolution, family therapy is likely to be more successful. Child vulnerabilities help guide the intensity of the intervention and may lead to a referral to a child therapist to be part of the team. A child therapist must understand they are part of a team, supporting the family therapy while helping the child through their anger, distrust, or anxiety.
and supportive
What has to occur in family therapy? After careful assessment of the factors described and a commitment from the family to work on agreed upon goals, the detailed work begins. A family therapist must help increase the motivation for change; this can occur when the alternatives to working in family therapy are explored and found lacking. A therapist will have laid out the expectations for progress. If expectations are met the RRD should begin to resolve, both parents should be able to support the agreed on goals, and the child should have engaged with the rejected parent in steps (supported by the favored parent) toward meaningful dialogue. Gradually the relationship should improve. While there is no clear timeline, if there is no movement in the family after several months of regular meetings, a reassessment as to goals and expectations is necessary. Sometimes this leads to the necessity of more intensive work; sometimes this leads to a pause in treatment while other avenues are tried; sometimes this leads to a period of no direct contact. If the goal has been to grow a safe and meaningful relationship and this has not occurred it is essential to examine the possible reasons for lack of success. Once these are examined a new direction may be necessary.
There are pros and cons to a new direction. If that direction is a more intensive form of therapy it will be because the rejected parent has had a previously positive relationship with the children and has done all the necessary work in therapy, the children have continued to resist or refuse contact, and the favored parent is unable to unwilling to support the goals of a safe and healthy relationship. While some of these intensive programs purport to have a very high success rate, it is crucial to examine the programs in depth as well as what is meant by “success”. Sometimes the child is able to reconnect with the previously rejected parent very well, only to lose the relationship with the favored parent. Goals and expectations for these intensive programs must be determined and understood in advance.
If the new direction is to re-create and enforce a structured parenting plan with time with each parent, it is essential to determine how this will be enforced. If the new direction is to pause or say goodbye to one’s child for now, there is also work to be done.
In conclusion, Resist and Refuse Dynamics are multi-factored and complex. Family law professionals must understand the family dynamic, make certain safety is a priority, and not become part of a polarizing dynamic. Once the factors underlying the RRD are clear, the roles for the judge, the attorney, the mediator, the parenting coordinator, and the family therapist become more defined. With clear expectations and goals family therapy can help resolve the strained relationship between parent and child. Children are often caught in the middle in these RRD. They can suffer both short term and longer term consequences. It is our job as family law professionals, to approach these cases with care and compassion, always focused on the Best Interests of the Child within their family.
When it comes to family law, the issue of trauma can often be overlooked. Trauma is a broad term that encompasses anything from physical harm, long-term illness or even mental and emotional distress. In recent years, family law has begun to incorporate the understanding that trauma can have a significant impact on relationships and legal proceedings within families.
Family law through a trauma lens considers how childhood events such as being exposed to violence, abuse, or neglect can shape an individual’s identity and approach to problem solving as an adult. It also takes into account any potentially traumatic events that may happen during divorce proceedings or disputes over custody arrangements. By considering the possible presence of trauma when examining family law cases, lawyers are better able to provide effective advice for those involved in difficult family situations. A trauma-informed approach also seeks to create a more equitable and just system by reducing the potential for further harm and increasing access to resources and support.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is a term that is used in many different contexts, but its definition remains the same. Trauma is an emotionally and physically distressing event or experience, especially one of overwhelming intensity. Trauma is unexpected, the person is unprepared, and there is nothing the person can do to stop the even from happening. Trauma can be anything from a car accident to an assault; it can also be caused by chronic exposure to stress and adversity such as poverty or neglect. Understanding trauma and how it affects individuals is essential for family law practitioners who wish to provide the best possible legal representation for their clients.
The effects of trauma are pervasive, impacting all aspects of a person’s life including mental health, relationships, finances, physical health, legal issues and more. By understanding the way that trauma shapes people’s behavior on both conscious and unconscious levels family law professionals can better serve their client’s needs both in court proceedings as well as out-of-court negotiations.
How to Apply a Trauma Lens to Family Law
The legal field has long been criticized for its lack of understanding and consideration for the emotional turmoil faced by those involved in family law cases. To better support individuals experiencing divorce, custody battles, or other family-related issues, recognizing the lens of trauma is essential. A trauma informed way of thinking recognizes parties in these cases need to feel safe; to feel valuable; to feel empowered; to be heard. A trauma informed model shifts from blame (what is wrong with you?) to understanding (what has happened to you?).
By incorporating practices informed by a trauma lens into family law practice, attorneys can provide more effective representation while showing compassion towards their clients who are navigating some of life’s toughest moments. Judges who use a trauma informed lens in court learn how obtain the most salient information while taking care not to trigger a potential traumatic response. When parents participate in the decision making process they are more likely to follow through with agreements. Alternative Dispute Resolution, mediation, and case management conferences all involve and empower parents to help create their own paths through their legal issues.
Impact of Trauma on Our Legal System
The legal system is often viewed as a place where justice is served, however, this may not be the case for those who have experienced trauma. In recent years, experts have taken a closer look at how trauma can impact our legal system, particularly in the area of family law. Studies have shown that individuals who have experienced trauma are more likely to become involved in disputes with family members or other parties over child custody and parenting arrangements. These types of situations can lead to long-term consequences for both parties if they are not properly addressed in court.
When it comes to family law matters, understanding how trauma affects people’s lives is essential for achieving fair outcomes. Trauma can alter an individual’s perception of reality and make them unable to process complex information or think clearly during negotiations or proceedings.
Benefits of Approaching Family Law from a Trauma Perspective
Approaching family law from a trauma perspective can offer numerous benefits to those navigating through the legal system. By understanding how past trauma affects individuals in present-day conflicts, family lawyers can better serve their clients and provide more tailored advice to help them reach desirable outcomes.
Trauma-informed practices are gaining recognition as an important factor in successful family law cases. Studies have shown that by taking into account a client’s background, attorneys can assist them in making decisions that are best suited for their needs, ultimately leading to more favorable results. They also gain insight into potential triggers and behaviors that can be used to de-escalate tense situations or disagreements between parties involved in the case.
Ultimately, approaching family law from a trauma lens allows family law professionals to approach each case with greater empathy and understanding of the events leading up to it which helps develop strategies for resolving conflict effectively.
Conclusion: Moving Forward with Compassion
Trauma informed principles acknowledge that trauma is pervasive. Trauma informed environments allow a person’s strengths to emerge. In trauma informed environments, safety, trust, choice and control, compassion, and collaboration are paramount. The shift toward a trauma informed approach in family court is vital.
The topic of family law can be difficult for many, especially those who have experienced trauma. To address these issues, understanding the effects of traumatic experiences must be addressed in family law matters. By recognizing the effects that traumatic events can have on individuals and their families, it is possible to move forward in family law cases with empathy and understanding while also focusing on legal procedures. By focusing on safety, empowerment, and equity, we can help to reduce the potential for further harm and create a process that is respectful, dignified, and ultimately healing for everyone involved.
