The rate of late-in-life divorces has doubled in the past decade. The golden years are now viewed as the last opportunity to find happiness. The dramatic growing number of grey-haired divorces impacts how families look at their elders. It affects family members at all levels, financially and emotionally. The combination of limited income, financial needs, and maintaining family relationships requires knowledge of resources and creativity to meet the unique needs of late in life divorces. The following top ten tips can be used by family law professionals in working with high-conflict families of elders.
Do not think you will find out everything about the conflict in the first meeting with the family. Families have secrets that have lasted for years and it may take some time and trust before they let you into their inner circle.
There is not one truth to the reason for the conflict. Each family member has their own perception which should be respected.
Elders are not wrinkled children. They have legal rights that children do not have until the age of majority. Be respectful of the elder’s culture, including generational, ethnic, and religious background as well as other unique characteristics.
Elders are accustomed to their independence and doing things the way they have always done them. When they are confronted by normal physical and mental tasks that now challenge their abilities, it is difficult for them to acknowledge their need for help. Be prepared to help them save face with diplomacy that will enable them to accept help without having to admit they need it.
Elders are sensitive about their mortality and we need to be, too. It is unfair to put elders in the center of conflict, especially if their faculties are being compromised by the frailties of aging. Life is too short. We also need to recognize that time is of the essence and that when elders need help they cannot always wait for the dust to settle.
Families do not age out. They continue to grow, bringing their old problems along with them. Elders and their loved ones need the same conflict resolutions as younger families. (They also need the professional services of FLAFCC members at this point in the age spectrum.)
What affects the elder, affects all the generations after. The modeling you provide will be helping the youngest generations and even those generations to come.
Being gray haired does not necessarily mean being old and ready for the nursing home. It can still be a time to pursue personal happiness despite the impact on the family structure, be it separation, divorce, or late in life marriage.
Elders may need to be shielded from family members seeking to protect inheritances by challenging the elder’s mental capacity, unduly influencing the elder, and controlling the elder’s life.
Eldercaring Coordination can help! Eldercaring Coordination is an empowering, non-adversarial dispute resolution method used to help manage high conflict family dynamics so that the elder, family, and stakeholders can address their concerns independently from the court.
With the exception of one very controversial bill that brings time-sharing into the administrative child support realm, the 2017 legislative session was rather sedate as relating to children and families. Here are the relevant bills that have become law as of June 25, 2017:
1. Chapter 2017-8, Laws of Florida (Committee Substitute for Senate Bill 60) This legislation deals with providing driver education, driver licenses and auto insurance for children in out-of-home care. What was once a 3-year pilot project has now been made permanent, to the extent that funding is available. The Department of Children and Families is authorized to develop a program to pay for the cost of driver education, licensure and other costs incidental to licensure, and motor vehicle insurance for children in out-of-home care who have completed a driver education program.
By: Jack Moring
Caregivers who add a child to an existing policy can be reimbursed for the increase in cost attributable to adding the child.
Funding is also provided (until available funds are exhausted) for those children who have reached permanency status or have turned 18 for up to six months after obtaining permanency or turning 18, and potentially beyond that six-month period, provided the child can demonstrate that the costs of licensure and the incidental costs thereto are creating barriers for obtaining employment or completing educational goals.
DCF is to contract with a non-profit entity to operate and administer the program.
Dependency legislation relating to transition planning (section 39.6035, Florida Statutes) has been amended to add obtaining a driver’s license as an item the transition plan must address.
The judicial review legislation (section 39.701) has been amended to require that for children 15 years of age and older, the court is to determine if appropriate steps are being taken for the child to obtain a driver’s license or learner’s permit. After the judicial review hearing when a child turns 17, DCF’s social study reports have to include information on how to obtain a driver’s license or learner’s permit.
Guardians ad litem have been added to the list of persons who can be authorized to make an application on behalf of a minor for issuance of a learner’s permit without assumption of any obligation or liability for damages caused by the minor in the operation of a motor vehicle.
Finally, the bill re-enacts the law requiring that any child between 16 and 18 applying for license, must have a certification by a responsible adult that the child has been accompanied for at least 50 hours of behind-the-wheel experience, ten hours of which must have been night driving. The responsible adult must also certify to having monitored the child during any online driver license examination.
The act became effective upon becoming a law on May 1, 2017.
2. Chapter 2017-27, Laws of Florida (Committee Substitute for Committee Substitute for Committee Substitute for House Bill No. 185) This bill allows families who operate a licensed family foster home to receive family annual entrance passes to all state parks and a fifty percent (50%) discount on base campsite fees at state parks.
Families who adopt a special needs child receive a one-time annual entrance pass at the time of adoption.
The act took effect on July 1, 2017.
3. Chapter 2017-23, Laws of Florida (Committee Substitute for Committee Substitute for Senate Bill No. 852) — This law relates to human trafficking. Section 39.524, Florida Statutes, is amended to require DCF or law enforcement to conduct a multidisciplinary staffing of a child found or suspected to be a victim of commercial sexual exploitation in order to determine the child’s need for services and need for placement in a safe house or safe foster home. The results of the staffing and any assessments must be included at the next disposition hearing on judicial review. DCF, CBC’s and law enforcement are to provide annual reports to the Legislature on the prevalence of child commercial sexual exploitation, the specialized services provided to the children and their placement, as well as local service capacities assessed. DCF is mandated to maintain certain data related to these matters.
Commercial sexual exploitation is defined as the use of any person under 18 years of age for sexual purposes in exchange for money, goods or services or the promise of money, goods, or services.
Safe homes and safe foster homes are required to be certified by DCF, and, as part of the certification process, must use strength-based and trauma-informed approaches to care, group victims by age or maturity level and provide separate care for victims of commercial sexual exploitation.
Residential treatment centers and hospitals providing mental health treatment have to provide specialized treatment for victims of commercial sexual exploitation. CBC lead agencies are to ensure that victims have a case manager and case plan, regardless of any dependency status.
The locations of safe homes and safe foster homes are confidential and exempt from disclosure.
Methodologies for conducting multidisciplinary staffings and service plans are created. Training protocols requiring specialized intensive training for investigators and case managers assigned to victims of commercial sexual exploitation.
This act took effect upon approval by the Governor, which occurred on May 23, 2017.
4. Chapter 2017-13, Laws of Florida (Committee Substitute for Committee Substitute for House Bill No. 151) In addition to the use of therapy dogs to assist child victims and child witnesses, facility dogs and therapy animals may also be used.
A facility dog is a dog that has been trained, evaluated and certified as a facility dog pursuant to industry standards and provides unobtrusive emotional support to children and adults in facility settings.
A therapy animal is an animal trained, evaluated and certified as a therapy animal pursuant to industry standards by an organization that certifies animals as appropriate to provide animal therapy.
The act took effect on July 1, 2017.
5. Chapter 2017-80, Laws of Florida (Committee Substitute for House Bill 329) This bill amends section 61.13, Florida Statutes, to provide that any time-sharing plan may not require a minor child to visit a parent who is a resident of a substance abuse recovery residence between 9:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m., unless a court makes a specific finding that such visitation is in the child’s best interests. Among the factors the court is to take into account are whether the residence is for pregnant women or parents whose children reside with them, the number of adults in the residence, and the parent’s level of recovery.
Notwithstanding a court’s finding of best interests, if any of the residents are sexual predators or sexual offenders, no such visitation shall be allowed at the recovery residence.
The act took effect on July 1, 2017.
6. Chapter 2017-117, Laws of Florida (Committee Substitute for Committee Substitute for Senate Bill 590) Arguably the most controversial bill to pass, this act authorizes the establishment of parenting time plans in administrative child support proceedings, when the parties agree to the same.
While the bill may seem innocuous on its face, the bill provides no mechanism for addressing any power imbalances that may exist between parties in arriving at an agreed-to parenting time plan, other than an off-hand statement that it is not intended for parents and families with domestic or family violence concerns.
A default parenting time plan is created that, if accepted by the parties, gives the obligor parent two weekends per month (Friday at 6:00 p.m. to Sunday at 6:00 p.m., with extension to a Friday and/or Monday if a holiday falls thereon), a 2-hour mid-week time, alternating Thanksgiving break, Winter break, Spring break, and two weeks in the summer.
This act contradicts the 2008 amendments to Chapter 61, which explicitly state that there is no presumption in favor of or against any particular parenting plan or time-sharing schedule, and the court is to treat each family as unique and determine the appropriate parenting plan for that family.
There are concerns as to what the legal effect of any agreed-to parenting time plan will be if a parent later seeks court involvement. Will it be a de novo review and a best interests standard. Will it be a substantial change modification standard. Loose language in the act itself would suggest the latter: If, after the incorporation of an agreed-upon parenting time plan into and administrative support order, a parent becomes concerned about the safety of the child during the child’s time with the other parent a modification of the parenting time plan may be sought through a court of appropriate jurisdiction.
Stay tuned for more information on this act, as it is interpreted by the courts.
Allegations of parental alienation are common in high conflict divorces. They are usually a function of deeper issues in the family including exposure to high intense marital conflict, humiliating separation, and professional mismanagement (Kelly & Johnston, 2001). The concept of family alienation was popularized by Gardner (2002) who describes it as a syndrome. This implies a specific set of symptoms that are displayed by the alienated child. The syndrome has not been validated by empirical research. Rather, alienation is more accurately described as a set of behaviors on the part of a parent which may or may not result in a child becoming alienated (Kelly & Johnston, 2001).
Wade Silverman, PhD
The alienated child is described by Kelly and Johnston (2001) as one who expresses disproportionately negative behavior about the alienated parent that is not consistent with his or her actual experience. Alienation may be expressed in degrees (Paul, 2014). Mild alienation may result in resistance towards visitation. Moderate alienation may involve the degradation of the alienated parent by the child. Severe alienation takes the form of false allegations and/or actual fear of contact with the alienated parent.
In an article by Baker and Darnall (2006), the most frequently reported alienated behaviors included “badmouthing”, interference with parental visitation and contact, limitation of mail and phone contact, interfering with information such as updating school or medical issues, emotional manipulation, unhealthy alliances such as spying and reporting back, and symbolic interferences such as returning Christmas cards.
Two of the major consequences of alienation on the child are fearfulness and low self-esteem (Mone & Biringen, 2006). These consequences can last into adulthood. Alienation has also been found in intact, high conflict marriages. The longer the alienation, the worse the outcome. Parental alienation may be described as a form of propaganda (Gottlieb, 2014) in which the alienated parent is characterized as dangerous, untrustworthy and harassing. The alienating parent expresses these beliefs in the presence of the child.
The treatment for parent alienation is reunification therapy. It should begin as soon as alienation is detected. Jones, Hardy, and Smyth (2015) warn that there is no guarantee of a successful outcome. This writer views parental unification therapy as a developmental process beginning with addressing timesharing issues with the child(ren), and then the child(ren) and alienated parent, and finally if possible, the child(ren) and both parents. Dagan and Ailon (2015) offer a checklist for therapists when consulting with lawyers to set up the process of reunification therapy. It includes arranging a conference call with both lawyers at the beginning of the case, reviewing the consent order to treat with emphasis upon the child’s best interests and indemnification of the mental health professional, reviewing the importance of the lawyer’s assistance, submission of the retainer agreement, review of the limits of confidentiality, reviewing the limitations of psychotherapy, and lastly the agreement of both lawyers to submit any pertinent documents.
References Baker, A.J.L. & Darnell, D. (2006). Behaviors and Strategies Employed in Parental Alienation, Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 45: 1-2, 97-124, doi:10.1300/J087v4n01 06
Gardner, R.A. (2002). Parental Alienation Syndrome vs. Parental Alienation: Which Diagnosis Should Evaluators Use in Child-Custody Disputes, The American Journal of Family Therapy, 30:2, 93-115, doi: 10.1080/019261802753573821
Kelly, J.B, & Johnston J.R. (2001). The Alienated Child: A Reformation of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Family Court Review, Vol. 39, No. 3, 249-266. Retrieved from: http://www.lexisnexis.com.ezproxy.fiu.edu/hottopics/lnacademic/?verb=sr&csi=7327&sr=cite(39+Fam.+Ct.+Rev.+249)
Mone, J.G. & Biringen, Z. (2006). Perceived Parent-Child Alienation, Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 45:3-4, 131-156, doi: 10.1300/J087v45n03 07
Paul, H. A. (2014). The Parent Alienation Syndrome: A Family Therapy and Collaborative Systems Approach to Amelioration, by L. Gottlieb. Child & Family Behavior Therapy, 36(1), 71-79. doi:10.1080/07317107.2014.878199
FLAFCC recognizes the complex scholastic history of child resistance to a parent during a divorce. Specifically, there is ongoing academic discourse over the appropriate terminology, definitions, etiology, prognosis, and interventions for these cases. For example, in the literature on child resistance, there continues to be an ongoing debate of the use of terms such as parental alienation syndrome (PAS), parental alienation disorder, and parental alienation (Gardner, 1998; Bernet, 2010; Darnell, 2010). Some scholars have emphasized the importance of identifying background and personal factors that contribute to the child’s resistance to a parent and have adopted the term child alienation or alienated child to emphasize the individual child’s situation (Kelly & Johnston, 2001). Parental gatekeeping has been used to describe the continuum of parental attitudes and behaviors that affect the quality of the co-parent’s relationship with the child. On this continuum, unjustified restricted gatekeeping can result in the alienation of the child from the resisted parent, but not always (Austin, Fieldstone, Pruett, 2012). The following article is published to further the discussion and awareness of the restricted gatekeeping behaviors on the part of the parent resulting in the resistance of the child. Full citations available upon request.
Introduction: The FLAFCC proposal on the development of a family court intake system was presented before the Family Court Committee (FCC) and unanimously approved. We are pleased to present the FLAFCC’s position paper on creating an intake process for family matters.
Authored By: Judge Sandy Karlan and Robert Merlin, Esq.
The Florida Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (FLAFCC) believes that it is in the best interest of Florida’s families to create an in-take system for all families to identify issues that they need to address, and should address, before they take action in Family Court to resolve their disputes. And to this end, FLAFCC proposes convening a task force of various stake holders, in partnership with The Florida Supreme Court Family Court Committee, to consider the elements necessary for an intake system for families that would be consistent with the Court’s opinion In re Report of the Family Court Steering Committee, 794 So.2d 518 (Fla. 2001), and which can be implemented throughout Florida. The group will consider various pilot projects that are currently in process such as The Out of Court Divorce Project as part of IAALS in Denver, Colorado and various pilot projects on child support promoted by the federal government’s office on child support.
The creation of an intake system was an integral part of the essential elements of a model family court:
4(b) Intake and Referral (including Self-help Program). The Florida Supreme Court should require each circuit to establish an intake process to provide information, make referrals to legal or social services, and assist self-represented litigants. Services should be available whether or not the person files a lawsuit and without regard to income.
Such an intake/referral system that assists litigants who come to the court seeking information, but who are not necessarily ready to file a petition in the family court, is also consistent with the philosophy of the Court’s opinion. In that opinion, the Court recognized that:
Therapeutic justice should be a key part of the family court process. Therapeutic justice is a process that attempts to address the family’s interrelated legal and nonlegal problems to produce a result that improves the family’s functioning. The process should empower families through skills development, assist them to resolve their own disputes, provide access to appropriate services, and offer a variety of dispute resolution forums where the family can resolve problems without additional emotional trauma. Whenever possible, parties and their attorneys should be empowered to select processes for addressing issues in their cases that are compatible with the family’s needs, financial circumstances, and legal requirements. Once a case is filed with the courts, then the coordinated management or differentiated case management by all court personnel can be engaged. This means that the family court judges are overseeing both legal and non-legal issues and referring the parties to appropriate services. But what about before the case is filed, Many family members come to the court because they do not know where else to go and they have conflicts in their families that they believe must be resolved by the courts. But what if the Court at the intake, in partnership with community providers, could refer the parties to community services that might assist the parties in resolving their issues without the necessity of litigation.
As further described in the Court’s opinion:
Recommendations #4(b), Intake and Referral, and #4(c), Case Management: Among other things, the coordinated management model includes a front-end intake process to provide information, make referrals to legal or social services and assist self-represented litigants. See Recommendation #4(b). Effective front-end management allows for litigants to become educated about the system and is crucial to the effective utilization and coordination of both community services and court resources. The services a child receives should be dictated by the individual needs of the child and not the particular door of the courthouse through which the child enters. Effective case management will enable this goal to be realized. To that end, the model recognizes that family division judges must have sufficient case management staff to perform differentiated case management, to coordinate all cases involving a single family, to coordinate and monitor services provided to each family and to collect aggregate data to measure performance of the family division. See Recommendation # 4(c).
Substantial work has been done by the Family Court Committee over the years since 2001 on the issues of related cases and attempts to develop effective case management by additional training of judges, however, little attention has been paid to the pre-filing intake/referral process that is also part of the model. This project envisions more than simply providing families with prose forms and advice at self-help offices. We envision that the intake/referral process would provide needed services to families and would lighten the burden on Florida’s court system, perhaps through a public-private partnership.
FLAFCC is an organization that is suited to convene a task force to make recommendations to create a viable intake system in Florida to help families receive the help they need, rather than the family automatically resorting to filing an action in court. FLAFCC believes that the creation and development of an intake system is a project that it can devote the time and energy to developing because of its commitment to interdisciplinary professional cooperation and reduction of litigation in families. Further, FLAFCC convenes a conference in partnership with OSCA every year that is dedicated to presenting and discussing innovative practices regarding families and the law, which provides a natural audience of participants for this work.
We are aware of potential hurdles that must be overcome, however, as with all previous initiatives of the Florida Supreme Court regarding the family court process, we believe that with the support of the Family Court Committee we will be able to contribute to the innovative projects of our state that serve our families.
This is an exciting season for our organization! Your board and members at large are actively working on a variety of important projects and making great progress. Revamping our website and becoming technologically up-to-date was our priority this year. We have a beautiful new website and a new venue for sending email blasts and for facilitating conference registration. Many thanks to the website committee of Bob Merlin, Jack Moring, Rose Patterson and chaired by Sheba Katz for working overtime to update our online presence as quickly as possible!
Under the direction of Linda Fieldstone and Judge Michelle Morley the Eldercaring Coordination project is expanding primarily through the education and enlistment efforts of these two tireless workers. We are sure that eldercaring coordination will continue to take root as a first line method of assistance to families and the courts. Linda Fieldstone and Judge Morley will be presenting an informative workshop on Eldercaring Coordination at our September conference. Kim Nutter, an attorney based in Boca Raton, will join them with a presentation on late-in-life divorce. These are important family law matters as our aging population expands. Bob Merlin and Judge Sandy Karlan are spearheading an effort to revamp the family court intake system. The proposal that they presented to the Family Court Committee (FCC) was unanimously accepted and their position paper is published in this newsfeed. They will be conducting a two-part workshop at the September conference to jump start a task force please attend if you are interested in learning about and/or helping with this very important project.
Finally, the conference planning committee meets weekly to ensure that this year’s Annual Conference, September 25-27, will be excellent. They have a very exciting list of plenary speakers lined up and are putting together a diverse selection of wonderful workshops. Additionally, we have added four hours of professional track education on the Monday prior to the start of the annual conference on Tuesday morning. Attorneys, mental health professionals, and mediators will be able to obtain up to four hours of mandatory credit (topics required for licensure) for an incredibly low price. Please check out the Save the Date attached to this letter. Registration will be open soon!!!
I thank those of you who work so hard on committees and projects. I thank the entire membership for your involvement and support. With your help FLAFCC continues to lead and innovate in our mission to educate our family law community and assist families in transition. Sincerely, 239-789-5078 jillsandersphd@msn.com
FLAFCC MISSION: The Florida Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (FLAFCC) is an organization of judicial, legal, mental health, financial and related professionals utilizing education, research and advocacy to improve the lives of children and families through the collaborative resolution of family conflict.
